THE OBAMAS COVER PEOPLE

***GO TEAM OBAMA***

So this weeks issue of People Magazine offers a rare look into the life of the Obama family. Barack, Malia, Sasha, and Michelle are all smiles and look really good. Finally the magazine who boasts how they are about people aka white people are adding some much needed fresh color to the mix. This serves as a rare highlight of IMPORTANT PEOPLE, not some random story about a white Hollywood couple who no one really gives to rats asses about. GO TEAM OBAMA!!!!.

HIT OR MISS???

While visiting my friend in the head, "Fresh" over at Crunk & Disorderly I found this fuckery. This is a rare photo of Sherri the M&M muncher Sheppard and her Son playing on a swing set. Straight 1980's Sears catolog swag goin on here. I blame the PCJ Just for me curl.

***NEW MUSIC*** JAZMIN SULLIVAN LIONS, TIGERS, BEARS

So I have to admit I did sleep on Jazmin at first but I must say that this young raw talented beauty is definitely some one to watch out for. I like this song and I love the concept, so check it out kid.Her new Album "Fearless", will hit the stores September 16th So check for her.

GETTEM GURL BATTLE OF THE BROADS V5.0

So I know Im a lil late because I been on the job chase but I couldnt let this one just slip away because Omarosa tried to play my BFF Wendy. (Insert ghetto girl named shaquantasia ((OH NO SHE DIDNT)), Yeah she did....but its ok because Wendy couldnt say all that she wanted on live TV but..... she did get her A$$ by saying thanks for coming on MY SHOW..lol We will see how this battle plays out or will it just Fizzle like the other two we have posted over here at Aww-ShiTT

FLASH BACK JOINT OF THE DAY

***THAS MY ShiTT THAS MY ShiTT***



WHEN i FOUND THIS VIDEO i WENT BONKERS BECAUSE VITA WAS SUCHA RAW TALENT THAT GOT SHOT DOWN (NO SHE'S NOT DEAD) WAYYY BEFORE HER TIME. SHE WAS EXACTLY WUT THE WORLD OF FEMALE MC'S NEEDED

CONDALINGUS RICE LOVES OBAMA

***EVEN IF ITS JUST A LITTLE BIT***

So Condaleeza Rice aka Condi the cooch queen, appeared on CNN's Late Edition with Wolf Blitzer (Gosh I love that show)this week and was asked a question about the Obama candidacy and this is what she had to say.

WOLF:
Now, you grew up in the segregated South. You know what racism is in our country. The fact that Barack Obama is now the Democratic presidential nominee,what does that say to you?

RICE:
I think it’s great. And I think it’s great for our country.

J~Real:
Yeah umm-hmm ok sure why not????

Next she will do a magic trick that involves the half eaten flesh of an Afghan woman, a basketball and a pair of dock martin's. Dont want to miss that!!!

EBT NIGGATRY

Dear Rocsi,

You and I have been together for two years and in that time we’ve become family. But sometimes we foolishly take family for granted and sometimes with family we take it too far. So let me say my dearest Rocsilla, I took it too far that Friday with my comment and I hope that you will forgive me. You are one of the most beautiful, talented and ambitious people I know and even the idea that I may have hurt you with my teasing has made me sad. From the bottom of my heart I hope that I will never ever ever hurt you again. It’s just not the same. A strong man needs a strong woman, so Rocsi please continue to be my rock. I have to take some time off from the show now but I hope to see you soon.

Love Terrence

Yes the above is a letter that Terrence "ALLEGEDLY", wrote Rocsi, that Mario read on yesterdays show (106&fart), the letter was an attempt to make up for the fiasco that unfolded a week or two back when Rocsi walked off the stage for Terrence making inappropriate jokes towards Rocsi. However if you want the real scoop NeCole Bitchie has it, so hit the clip THE REAL DIRT FROM NECOLE

GIRL YOU SO INVENTIVE

***Solange THE ANTI-BEYONKI***


Ok so while "tipping" over to late boots I happened to come across the Homie Solange's new album cover. Yeah kid Sister doin it B.I.G for the 08 and will be releasing her much anticipated sophomore album, (yes she did have a freshmen album & yeah it was wack)on August 26th. If you haven't checked some of her tracks out do so ASAP this one will def be a guaranteed hit.

R.I.P Estelle Getty

TO THIS I PULL OUT A SLICE OF CHEESE CAKE AND SIT AT THE KITCHEN TABLE,
***THIS I DO IN REMEMBRANCE OF OUR FALLIN GOLDEN GIRL.***

So I just got wind that Etelle Getty who played Sophia From the hit 80's-90's show the Golden Girls passed away yesterday in her L.A. Home at the age of 84, from Lewy Body Dementia. You will be missed Homes R.I.P

HOE REALLY?

***THIS ONE SPEAKS FOR ITSELF***

PIG PEN PROPPER

ASHANTI "Code name Piggy" is back at it again with her new video "Good Good" with a cameo from her partner in hog slop Nelly aKa Shucky Duck....Enjoy???

THE BRAVE ONES

***NO HATE HERE***

So the August issue of Rap Up magazine has 3 of my new favorite artists on the cover which is entitled "The Brave Ones". I say its about Dang time that these ladies get their respect they went from rags to riches in 0-6 so you know they must be killing the game on some properness. Solange aka No Longer Kid Sister is def stepping her game up with her new Album set to release next month with tracks like "I decided" and "Sandcastle Disco". Teyana is set to drop???? well I will get back on that one and Keri Hilson....wait, who is she again??? J/K is building up steam and ready to drop at any moment rippin it apart with her new hit "Energy".

Enjoy these ladies videos express courtesy of YouTube Productions

Solange "I decided"

Keri Hilson "Energy"

Teyana Taylor "Google Me"

ROCSI MIGHT BE KARATE CHOPPED

So its no Secret that Rocsi from EBT's 106 & Fart walked off stage last week after her and co host Terrance got into it. So I visited my good friend in the head Angel over at Concrete Loop and allegedly they got a tip that Rocsi is on definite leave for up to 3 weeks and Her and Terrance both mey be in the food stamp line soon. The tipster even said that Rocis was on the block for a minute, they just been tryna find a way to karate Chop her ass and I guess this was it???

Heres what the Concrete Loop Tipster had to say,

"Rocsi has been put on indefinite leave for her stunt last week. If you didn’t know she walked off the stage on Friday after Terrence continued to harass her. She will not be making any appearances on the stage for the next 2-3 Weeks. And rumor is around here that they plan on replacing both of them by the end of the year..

FOOD STAMP FRESH

Um???? Its not the Chink Store "4 for $250.00" jean sets, Its not the "Raz B Lookin boi" face on Spektacular, it aint even the rented car they cant afford in the background, or that drunk kid leaning on the wheel lookin like he got caught lickin windows on the short bus. My My My what can it be??? Oh yes I know!! Its all that fruity pie jumpin out the car in the back their. A lil too much zest for me. I can but I wont.

GIRL YOU SO CLASSY

The new and improved B/J Banger Barbie





So my friend in the head Michael K over at Dlisted.com posted this beautiful new Barbie by Mattel. I'm not sure if its real or not but its the Barbie every teen slut especially JamieLynn Spears has officially been waiting for. I have a cousin who collects dolls I guess I will wait for her to buy it so I can steal it and hold it hostage for some food stamps and a carton of New Port 100's. I wonder what the next Ken's new features will be??? or will they just make more "Sisters" for the train tramp Barbie. Y'all know those damn dolls aint sisters. They illegitimate children of Hooker Barbie. I always said that damn doll aint right, wit her hoe ass.

***BARBIES A WHORE!!!...TAKE THAT MOTHERS AROUND THE WORLD WITH VALUES***

COOTY CAM PROPER

***Aww-ShiTT loves Perez Hilton***





So the pics above are of the Disney Channel star Miley Cyrus, from the Disney Show Hannah Montana. Perez got ahold of them and turned them into the masterpieces you now have above. I do mean things to pics but I didn't do that.

***J~Real's Side notes*** Moms keep your kids away from the Disney channel, they will spontaneously tranform into TMobile sidekick whore's...I mean look at what they did to Minnie Mouse

CHEESE AND CRACKERS BATMAN

Word on the curb is that the walking Herp in a skirt is getting her own TV show.

In a last ditch effort to save humanity from any form of intelligence Nicole Richie will turn her awe full book "The Truth About Diamonds" into a TV show.

Nicole told E! that she's planning to take on some roles for the show,

***Here's what she told them***

"I would definitely produce and definitely be in the show. I don't know if I need to be the star of this show. I've got a lot going on right now."

Yeah neglecting your child and avoiding solid foods must be a cumbersome task....GIRL STOP.. So I read a little of this fuckery and honestly I'm sure she didnt write this. She probably locked some old nun down in her leather dungeon and sat her at the desk that she uses to display her Dildos and Gag Hangers, and told her "write Bitch, Write, or else the Lord will be your Sheppard once I turn your skin into a sheep quilt!!!"

Check out a review of the book here at PopMatters

Dont Do BADU

***SHE WILL SLAP THE PICKLED EGGS OUTTA YOU***



So amongst a firestorm of negative blog-traversy that happened last week, that apparently I had no clue happened, Erykah Badu lashed back at bloggers who criticized her for allegedly being pregnant yet again with her third child out of wed lock with her ??young?? protege artist Jay Electronica. Badu had this to say to haters on the okayplayer a message board.

***Heres a snippet of what she had to say to the HATERS.....

peace,
HOW DARE YOU DISRESPECT THE QUEENDOM
...AND MY CHILDREN AND MY INTELLIGENCE.
I've never been so disgusted in all of my life .
there is no other place i used to enjoy more .
i post no where else .
you guys have taken an all time low , tho.

I'LL STATE MY PEACE

i am a great mother and care giver to my 2 children and to this world .
my children are 2 of the kindest and happiest people i have met.
I home schooled them and taught them the ways of good to the best of my ability.
i am their doctor and their nurse .
and even sometimes their mother and their father.
i am an excellent mother and resent all of the negative comments and insults on my character.
the fathers of my children are my brothers and friends .
we have a great deal of respect for one another and always will.
WE LOVE OUR CHILDREN TO NO END.
we took our own "vows" and CONTINUE TO UPHOLD THEM.
AND THAT IS WHAT THAT IS .
If i loose you as a fan because i want to continue to have children then
FUCK OFF... WHO NEEDS YOU ....CERTAINLY NOT ME ... KICK ROCKS ... CALL TYRONE ... PACK LIGHT .... BITE ME
geeeez...
i had to say something
i am so sad for parents who try , today guys
enough is enuf.
dont judge to quickly , OKAY PLAYER?
i know you are having fun , but what if it were you and your children?
my son is 10 .
my daughter, 4 .
peace

ANALOGUE GIRL
and if this post is not clear
kiss my placenta.

***SHE TOLD YALL***

PLEASE SAVE THE CHILDREN

Please say it aint so. Did some African actually get so desperate that they gave up their child to Nay Nay for a 2 piece and a biscuit? Please say it aint so? Oh great, it aint really so. Actually the evil Baroness aka Naomi Campbell took a weekend trip to scour the plains of Africa in search of the mortal souls of African children to feast on before her winter hybernation in her cave on the English Country side. Well not exactly, Naomi, on her never ending quest to prove to the world that she still has at least an ounce of humanity left, visited a children's hospital in Nigeria this weekend where she donated some toys. *and stole orphan blood*..j/k

**She told reporters**

“I’m not a bad person. When people say all these negative things about me, I ignore them. Let them be negative - but do that away from me. It hurts but I know there is much more good in the world."

J~Reals Side Note: Batch Pleaze...nothing hurts the Dragon Lady...Be very "AFRAID"

Happy Bday Kim

***A Round OF NIP SLIPS ON THE HOUSE***


Heres Kim and Young Joc Celebrating her birthday with what appears to be a guest appearance from Titty ball Jr. I love Kim and all her Tit-tastic glory NewYork please take notes. Heres another near Nip Slip for you bust lusters. Or is that a surgical scar? I bet I could jump in one of theose sand bags and slide to the left slide to the right...then cha-cha slide.

IF IDIOTS COULD FLY

***YOUTUBE WOULD BE THE AIRPORT***



I just sat down to watch some random video from a chick who sent me a text message about her new video which by the way was WACK, Im not sayin no names but anyway, I saw this on the sidebar and was curious to see what the hell it was. Curiosity killed this cat today.

This fine dandy is Mr Pregnant and peep this he has his own website, What a trash!

EBT Might Need a NEW 106 & Park Host

So word on the curb is Rocsi from EBT's 106 & Park walked off the set because she was tired of Terrance's jokes. Check the clip below.





I for one never liked either one of them especially Terrance clown ass, and really wouldnt mind having AJ & Free back but hey thas just me.

***I call it EBT not BET...because its the foodstamp network***

Adventures from Animal Farm

***Ducky & Miss Piggy are loose yet again***

So Nelly AKA shucky duck, Ashanti code name Miss Piggy and Akon aka Mr Piss on you Jr. were all on on deck for Nelly’s new video for his song “Body On Me”, which can also be heard on Ashanti's album "Declaration of the Hopeless".Sike the real title of that cat scratch disaster is "The Declaration". The video was shot by Benny Boom at the Red Rock Casino Resort in Vegas. My guess is to cut costs on the set Benny paid for some stuff by gettin a lil Pig head-ed "if you know wut I mean", Keep'em cummin Ashanti, Keep'em cummin.

Maybe Not Really

So OK magazine got the full scoop on NewYork and her gal pal Tailor Made. According to Tailor Made he couldn't deal with NewYorks lifestyle of partying and HollyWood schmoozing and things so now NY is rolling solo. ~~~Yeah ok so in rat ferry kingdom news, the rat princess executed her half cousin for stealing a pound of cheese....Now thats better news then NewYork and Tailor Made's tawdry affairs.

***This Time Effie Whites Gonna WIIIN***

IT LEAKED IT LEAKED!!!!! Sweet Manna from my aunty gene's titty balls, It leaked. Beyonki eat your heart out times 5 because this is really wussup. JHud looks killer in this shoot and I stand by the title win I say ***THIS TIME EFFIE WHITES GONNA WIN-AH*** check out IPS over at the feed back.com

Midget PORN on Deck

So Georgina Dickinson from the magazine News of the world
got an exclusive interview from the hot chick??? Renae (22) who is a ?? *slut for hire??, about the sex life of her and 39 year old actor Verne Troyer who is about 2ft 8inches. I love it when regular sized people ride miniature ponies, its truely the creators vision ....here are clips from the interview with my commentary intertwined.
By;Georgina Dickinson

SEX with 2ft8ins Austin Powers Mini-Me star Verne Troyer was always going to be a tall order for 5ft6ins lover Ranae Shrider.

Brunette Ranae admitted: "I never imagined one day I'd date a man who barely came up to my kneecaps.

"But sex was very different from anything I'd experienced before, and I'd be lying if I didn't say it was tricky making everything work.

(NO ShiTT??)-J~Real

"I had to kneel down just to give him a hug. And anything but the traditional missionary position was just impossible. So I'd lie on the bed and Verne would crawl up my legs to have sex with me. And as he did it his feet would be tickling my knees!

***This Bitch Almost Killed Mini Me***

"I thought it would be fun to do it in the tub," she said. "Sadly I almost killed him. While Verne was watching TV I ran the bath, emptied a bottle of bubbles in it and called him in.

"But the bubbles were so thick and high that once he climbed in he got lost under the water and I couldn't see him.

Magazine Mayhem

***MONCHI-CHI ALERT***


So allegedly this was supposed to be last months cover of Essence but it got scrapped because.....MonCHI-CHI!!!!!!!!!!! sorry I have a newly discovered disease called typing tawrettes. Actually I have no idea why it was scrapped but chances are it was more then likely pulled because Tameka had issues scheduling her Vasectomy around the shoot and wouldn't be there to do her Klengnong death stare at any woman who looked at her young gold mind...oops...husband. Didn't ya'll hear that loud thump last week? It wasn't thunder or anything natural, it was Tamekas balls hittin the floor when she found out she wasn't on the cover with mole man and MonChi-Chi jr. Reason enough for it to be scrapped. Who cares about Usher and their little darling off spring. We want more photos of the first man to give birth, Tameka Foster, not that fake man made man who was once a woman. Science should definitely study Tameka because she got that good homie.



***GRANDMA SWAG***




So this months issue of O.K. aka Hell no... features a very elderly looking Jamie Lynn Spears holding her baby...(who cares what the babies name is), looking like the Meth addict waitress who serves up the good stuff at the waffle house on Howell Mill. Don't hat ya'll know you wanna bask in the glory that is the Spears family. I mean look at what they have to be proud of. They have two daughters who obviously kick back packs of Lucky Lights like they Flintstones chew ables, at the trailer ranch. while taking blood oaths to never be any kind of role model to little girls who start taking an interest in their lives. Shame it all to hell.....shame.

*AWW-ShiTT F'in Loves NEW YORK*

This is a tribute to all the NY lovers in the building ENJOY!!!!

Aww-ShiTT Supports

UP TOWN MAGAZINE

The Story.
So on the 4th I casually stood in line with my homeboys and girl.. at Kroger in College Park when I spotted a magazine with Barack Obama on the cover so of course, being an Obamite I had to peak inside. When I did I found a world of excitement in this overwhelmingly African American Publication. Not only did it highlight the AAA (Affluent African American)community, it also inspired those outside of that community to gain an insight that would make them strive to become apart of this community and even assurance that entrance to this community isn't that hard. This months issue has Barack Obama as its cover guy, and also includes some very interesting stories by Spike Lee who is interviewed, in a no holds barred conversation about his undying support for Barack.

AWW-ShiTT Caption This

In case you don't know this tall bottle of zest, its Dorian the quote un-quote non gay cast member from EBT's College Hill, Atlanta. Since I have banned the EBT channel from my TV screens because of it profound "niggatry" I had to ask my boy Chase over at Chaseology who tipped me off on the photo, just who the hell this person was.

Thanks Chase.
Chaseology.blogspot.com

***STYLIN ON U HOES*** Andre Leon Talley Can't Buy Thongs

The NewYork Post Reports that the world was touched by an angel when your favorite Sister/Mister was thwarted (YESSSSS-J-real), before he was allowed to buy Calvin Klein Thongs

*** just threw up in my mouth a little***

Here is the article:

ANDRE Leon Talley had a tough time buying underpants recently. The 6-foot-8 Vogue editor at large was in Macy's picking out XXL Calvin Klein thongs, but was thwarted when he tried to open a store credit- card account, our spy said. "He was denied and had trouble paying for it and had to come back . . . it was a big fiasco," the source said. Vogue spokes man Patrick O'Connell con firmed Talley was in Macy's, but insisted he was buying Polo boxers - not thongs. He declined to discuss the credit flap.

Aww-ShiTT random thought for Right now

Why didn't Nicole Sherzinger make it on her own?


Here is a woman who defied all odds by being a star amongst a group of not 4 but 6 girls, who had one of the hottest singles ever ("Watchu Like") which also featured T.I and Lil Wayne as T.I's stand in when he couldn't make it, and manged to perform very well in the face of adversity with a name that most people can't even pronounce. I definitely stans for Nicole and I'm hoping she loosens those Pussy Cat Doll shackles of no talent wanna be's who are wayyyyyy over rated and really depend on Nicole to justify any talent that the group may have. If you don't believe me check out the youtube song clip below. Its not a video its just the song "super Villain".

Aww-ShiTT random thoughtof the day: Whatever happend to KiKi Shepard?

So if you Don't know who she is here's a little Wiki for ya;

Wikipedia, KiKi Shepard

Kiki Shepard (born 1951) is an African-American television host, best known as the longtime co-host of It's Showtime at the Apollo. Ms. Shepard religiously guards the date of her birth, but she is a native of Tyler, Texas which is also the home-town of football great, Earl Campbell. Besides her work on "Showtime..", Sheppard has also worked as an actress and voice actor.

POLYGAMY COUTURE

This do in remembrance of Him. Oh lawdy, Aubrey Oday.

So apparently the Fundamentalist Church of Latter Day Saints, has responded to an overwhelming???? cry for their blessed garments. As if the hair do's weren't enough to kill the world over three times. The clothes that remind me of old Portuguese Bread maid uniforms, are being sold to children around the world

***BLESSED BE THY NAME*** THANK YA!!!!!

(HE-CUMMIN-INAHUNDAI)


One of the polygamites told The Salt Lake Tribune, "Our motive is not to flaunt ourselves or our religion before the world. We have to make a living the same as everyone does.

HOUSE OF DEREON EAT YOUR MUTHERFUCKIN HEART OUT!!!! WOOO! i'M ENJOYING THIS WAYYYY TOO MUCH

catch their new line of Clothes here at fldsdress.com

AWW-SHITT BATTLE OF THE BROADS 3.0 WAIT, WHAT? OMARION ~vs~BOW WOW?

O.K so now Bow Wow taking jabs at Omarion? I thought that..... Never mind. I can but I wont. So in case you missed it in this Remix to "lookin Boy" Bow Wow spits venom at his..Boo/ ooh I meant "Boy" Omarion sayin "Ol tight pants, Omarion lookin boy" then he goes on to say "Im sayin young guy I didnt know me and you was goin to be goin at each other, I just did it for the fun but you know, you made a Ni&&uh wanna go have some fun wit dat thang" **J-REAL** "have fun wit dat thang???", sayin that to a dude? Sounds pretty -MO- to me.

~huh?~ I'm still confused. Well wuteva the show goes on I cant wait to hear wut Omarion comes back with. If they get on some "secrets from the bed room spilled" type shit I will not partake in it. Well maybe a little but....Aww-ShiTT you know imma be all in like Willona on Goodtimes.

THAT WAS QUITE A SHOW..VERY ENTERTAINING

Venus and Serena Williams won in straight sets Thursday to set up their third all-sister Wimbledon final and seventh Grand Slam championship matchup.

Defending champion and four-time winner Venus beat Elena Dementieva 6-1, 7-6 (3), then two-time champ Serena overcame two rain delays and served 14 aces to down China’s Zheng Jie 6-2, 7-6 (5).

It will be the first all-Williams final at any tournament since 2003, when Serena beat her older sister in the Wimbledon title match for the second year in a row.

Serena holds an 8-7 career edge over Venus, including 5-1 in Grand Slam finals. Since Venus won the U.S. Open in 2001, Serena has won five straight of their major finals.

“She’s a tough opponent,” Serena said. “I think she’ll be the toughest person I’ve played. I’m excited.”

Said Venus: “It’s every Williams for themself.”

~~~~~~~~Associated Press~~~~~~~~


~All I ask for this years show down is that Serena learns how to put an outftt together and look like a woman for the afterparties and ShiTT. She did a good job last yearafter she beat her sister but you know how Kid Sister do.~ J-REAL

Eye Fodder

So while lookin at one of my homeboys myspace page (no you cant have it....lookin ass) lol I came across this video that he had posted. This shiTT almost made me call up Tina Knowles, yell bitch and hang up. This shit was hilarious hope you enjoy.

***STYLIN ON U HOES*** pix left on the coke table

So the jumbled Pics above are of the Smiths at the "Hancock" premiere in LA
Jada: lovely Green classic floor length dress
Will: Amazing checkered suit with a simple black tie
Diddy and Son: (face covered---on purpose)Who cares?
Jaden: Stylin on you hoes with the slick wave curls and blue hounds tooth Freekum suit
Lisa Raye: Well her fce got cut off by accident....sorry but her dress and shoes..yeah

A Pimp named Slickem

Ok So I caught wind of this while strolling through Crunk and Disorderly http://www.crunktastical.net/ and boy did it serve its purpose as Freshes Fever pitch of the day. I heard some flamboyant gay dude in IHOP say this before so I think this is the appropriate moment to say it...."Work out queen"

In case your irrelevant book is trapped in the closet. This ehem!, handsome young man is Slickem from Pretty Ricky. This shit makes me want to bust into a song that I heard on Mad TV. ~How'd ya get to be so sweet!!~

Verse 1:
How'd ya get to be so sweet?
How'd ya get to be so sweet?
I asked ya very nicely,
won't ya tell me very KIND-LEE!!
~How'd ya get to be soooo sweeeeet~

Youtube Clip Below

No Chris, No Chris, Nooo!! (Raz B Lookin Boy)

This definitely opened up a new chapter in creativity. I think I pissed myself on the Raz B part about 3 times. Joc is a damn fool, which makes it even better Enjoy!!