This week on "I love Ham- Hock"

LUNELLE!!!!!!
Aint she just Go-Geous I wanna put her neck rolls on a plate and sock'em up with a beef biscuit. She look like she enjoys eating Burger King breakfast burritos with a loose Newport and a diet coke on the side while in Bed watchin Maury in the mornings. If you guessed it, yes Lunelle is the hooker from Borat...lol... The highlight of her promising career ***looks away***

If you Sprinkle when you Tinkle....

...PEASE BE NEAT AND WIPE YOUR TEENAGED SEAT" thanx mngmnt.

So the Verdict is in... just like the sasquatch, Dracula, Beetle juice and Kirk Franklin's heterosexuality. The R Kelly piss case was all lies. The jury found Mr Kelly "clean" of all charges stemming from a case where he pissed.....sorry.... allegedly pissed on a girl who is now 23 years old who was reportedly 15/16 when this apparent tape was made. The verdict came down to the witness not wanting to testicle ....oops...I mean testify against The Pied Piper of R&B, and a mole that was not on the man in the video's back, that is mysteriously present on Kelly's. Well lets just add this up now shall we.. You have a man in his mid forties who tinkles on twelve year olds for fun and is aging mercilessly by the day. How could a mole just suddenly appear on his back after 6 years?? Riddle me that Fatman.

In the immortal words of New York 'Bitch you are out of it!!!"

Michelle O 2012

Michelle Obama Razzle Dazzled a group of senior citizens a.k.a the Geritol League of Columbus, Ohio at the Oakleaf retirement village, where she and future president Barak Obama made an appearance to when over the super legion of diapered dandies.
While there Michelle talked about her mother who is also a senior (age 70) who does yoga to stay fit. She spoke on how her mom treats her daughters Sasha and Malia like queens, when she was treated more strictly. She then introduced Barak to the seniors who she humbly labeled a leader, a man, a father, and the future President of the U.S .....yeah yeah I know she is definitely baskin in the lime light for her run in 2012 against Hillary. If it ever goeas down I would def lable it the true "Titty Bingo"

Because I paid all the bills about a month too late

So I just got word that Blu Cantrell just wrapped up a photo spread for playboy ***vomits on every wooden surface in 10 foot radius*** I could just imagine her wonderfully decorated Charlottes Web fish sticks gracing the covers of play boy Garcelle Beauve Style. Oh it makes my heart feel all tantric. I could imagine my great AuntyP commenting on the shoot "oh lawd,aint dat thang about my age, nah dass juss nassy is wut it is. Shame da damn Devuh...SHAME!!...

Bingo Bettie

Move over Bette Midler you think you were doin somethin with Bath house Betty well here is Bingo Belinda, dapper with her Bmore tang game mad proper. Your favorite herbal pill was spotted rockin this on thursday at the Greak Theatre in L.A...performing songs from her recent album "New Amerykah WW4" which by the way is hot as a whores cooter, get ready for the next album scheduled to drop in July entitled "low Down Loretta Brown" which pays tribute to her alter ego. HMMM??? Imagine that, Erykah has an alter ego, who would've ever thought.

You betta Google her BABAY!!!!

The Teen President, a.k.a, Teyana Taylor, b.k.a, Tangalicious, j.k.a carpet munch pimp.. Alongside Keri Hilson?? (I really dont know who she is) hosted Rap Up Magazines 3rd year anniversary party at the Addidas store (and as we see some lil person got kinda carried away)in SoHo on Thursday night in the NYC.

Being that I just discovered who Teyana Taylor is I really wont say much about her I mean I like the song "Google Me" I even put it in my facebook status, and I just happened to see here pimptastic MTV sweet 16, where she wanted a trick bike and probably some ill na na but anyways bravo lil Diva...you are quite a charming young man.

Check out that water pale she is rocking as a book bag...Isn't that just the most adorable thing you ever seen a damn near grown ass woman do besides that hot lil number Lil Mama wore at the soul train awards with the matching pamper and pacifier?... This outfit actually makes me want to google your stylist so I can have them shot and be done with this crap already.

YOU BETTA ASK SOMEBODY!!!!!!
GOOGLE HER BABY

The Break up?

So the blogosphere is super buzzin about a potential Kanye and Alexis break up???? It is reported that he even asked for his ring back.

Alexis Phifer not only is Kanye's

beard

sorry I mean girlfriend but also has her own clothing line coming out and has reportedly outfitted Lil Mo, and even my lil homie KaNickie from up the block...Wut??? Don't hate on her she got skills, *(drops head and looks away)*

I mean Im not surprised by this at all. If they are breaking up Im sure there is a perfect logical exoplanation and no its not John Legend (_______)<-------insert joke here. Well this is all unfortunate and messy and all that other jazz but I really dont care.